It's My Fist Vs. The Bottle

wow this is the kind of entry i would write in 7th or 8th grade

2004-12-18T00:53:57Z

it sucks because my parents think because i get cuts on my report card, then i'm headed to be a criminal when i grow up. see this is there thinking: our son has cuts on his report card, last year he did really bad in school...OH MY GOD MY SON IS GONNA END UP IN PRISON!! I'm NOT my fucking uncles, i won't end up shooting up smack and sleeping in the back of madison square garden. I'm about as normal as any other semi-rebillious teenager out there, i'm not headed to trouble, i just seem to wind up in it sometimes. it's not big deal. everyone does something stupid several times in their lives, and we pay for it, but it doesn't mean i don't learn from my mistakes. i have no intention of leading a miserable life, and i won't. I"m not even blaming them for grounding me or lecturing me for 2 hours at the dinner table, i just expect them to leave me alone at some point of the day. like ok i did wrong, i already can't see my friends or go out, why make me completely miserable? i don't know, i'm trying to make a point, but sometimes i don't know what it is. and who the fuck am i talking to?

im out, bitches

I LOVE STEFIPOOOO

2004-12-12T16:17:26Z

HAVE YOU EVER
Been kissed: yes
Been in love: yes
Done drugs: yes
Been on stage: yes
Been dumped: yes
Gotten in a car accident: i think once a car backed up on us while my dad was driving
Dyed your hair: yes
Ran around naked in front of people: yes
Choked in front of people on my own spit or drink: yes
Gone to school in your pajamas: yes
Gotten a detention: yes
Loved/liked someone so much that it made you cry: yes

THIS//THAT
hot / cold: hot
rain / snow: rain
give / receive: give
wool / cotton: cotton
private school/public school: public
chocolate milk / plain milk: chocolate
Celsius / Fahrenheit: fahrenheit
spring / fall: fall
history / science: science
math / english: english
country / rock: rock
coke / pepsi: coke
cherry coke / vanilla coke: vanilla coke
sprite / 7up: 7up bitches
Love / lust: if you think about it, that question really doesnt make sense whatsoever
sleep / eat: sleep

OPPOSITE SEX
Do you like someone right now: i LOVE someone right now
Do they know: idk i was kinda meaning to tell them ::breathes in covered hands::
Describe this person: STEF
Do you think you could see yourself marrying this person you like: yes
Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend: girlfriend

FRIENDS
Who do you see most often: stef n corey
Who is your most annoying friend: fuckin lubelin "i hate gays!"
Who do you e-mail the most: stefipoo
Who is the loudest: stef
Who is the shyest: annie
Who are you most jealous of: no one
Who has the best room: mine
Who's the most horny: stef ;-)
Who do you trust the most: stef n corey
Who's your best friend: corey n stef

WITHIN THE LAST 24 HOURS
Had a serious talk: yes
Hugged someone: yes
Kissed someone: yes
Missed someone: yes
Gotten along with your parents: i try
Fought with a friend: nah
Cried: nah
Felt empty: kinda

LOVE
Single or taken: taken
If you were going to go out with anyone who would it be: well don't tell anyone........s-stef!

NOW
Where are you: my room
Are you wearing any jewelry: no
When was the last time you showered: last night
What color pants do you have on right now: skin.....with a lot of hair (RRrrrrRRR)
What song are you listening to right now: walls - emery

gilvsworld @ 2004-12-11T18:12:00

2004-12-12T02:16:18Z

worst week ever

almost got arrested
jean pierre spent the night in jail during our hanuka dinner
rob got sent to boarding school for a year
i got a false positive on my urine test
my teachers are obviously feeding me bullshit according to my interm report
couldn't sleep at all
and my parents think i'm currently lying about everything

oh yeah and because of the above, i can't see the girl that i love more than anything in the whole world tommorrow. this sucks

gilvsworld @ 2004-12-04T16:45:00

2004-12-04T21:47:29Z

wow i havn't updated for a while, primaraly because i don't go on the comp too much anymore. i have nothing to say, just updating so that stef can jump and say "YAY HE UPDATED!!!!" haha i love you so much

by the way i cut my hair

gilvsworld @ 2004-10-23T00:32:00

2004-10-23T04:35:13Z

ok so life excellent. i have my friends, my gf, my band, nice wheather, good grades, everythings fine. cept today sucked cause i was playing at my first show in like a year and my string fucking snapped. i feel like such an asshole. i ruined the whole performance, i don't care what anyone else says. w/e.

funny ass face

2004-10-12T20:41:49Z

i had a pretty good weekend. friday i went to my grandmas to eat some food. it was pretty good food too. Then i went to six flags the next day for fright fest. They used a lot of fake smoke, and you could barely see some of the park, and i wasn't feeling that great that day so i didn't have as much fun as i should have. Then the next day I saw farhenheit 911 with stef, went to a spanish restaurant and then went back to stefs. needless to say i had a good time. the next day i went to zacks for practice and i met our producer. pretty nice guy. today i went to school and ate the schools peaches for the first time in 5 years. DO NOT EAT YOUR SCHOOLS PEACHES!!!

gili

2004-09-21T04:08:52Z

I just wanted to know.. will you go out with m-m-m-eee??...::shivers::...
im kidding.
i dont care who is reading this but i wanted to leave a little surprise comment/message of love. except this time you dont have to see who was "screaming at u", its rite out in the open...
yea ok, well this is really random, but i would like to thank you for some of the best times of my life. I want to thank you for being so close, so dedicated to me, so far, in what we both can tell is going to be a really long quest. I FUCKING LOVE YOU. forever in my heart gil, Ill see you saturday..

LOve always: Stef (ipoo)

btw, u r the ONLY person who can call me that.

<3 ever so sweet <3

oh and here is a song.

All the / small things
true care / truth brings
I'll take / one lift
your ride / best trip
always / I know
you'll be / at my show
watching, waiting, commiserating

Say it ain't so, I will not go
turn the lights off, carry me home
Na, na, na, na....

Late night, come home
work sucks, I know
she left me roses by the stairs
surprises let me know she cares

Say it ain't so, I will not go
turn the lights off, carry me home
Na, na, na, na....

Say it ain't so, I will not go
turn the lights off, carry me home
keep your head still, I'll be your thrill
the night will go on, my little windmill

Say it ain't so, I will not go
turn the lights off, carry me home
keep your head still, I'll be your thrill
the night will go on,
the night will go on,
my little windmill

4 day weekend will suck

2004-09-15T19:24:34Z

ok my dad got home from israel and he's saying that i can't do much for the 4 day weekend because he wants to be with the family. and i was hoping for a break from school to be with my friends, but it doesn't look like i'm gonna have so much time with them now.

gilvsworld @ 2004-09-08T19:29:00

2004-09-08T23:39:08Z

school started, its not as bad as i thought it'd be. of course my parents are on my case, and sci teacher isn't audible, but overall i'm pretty good. i think today will be one of many in which i will get soaked walking to school and back. that's not too nice cause i don't like staying cold throughought the day. i miss stef A LOT. can't wait till the weekend. i also can't wait till christmas vac, cause theres a good possibility stef will come with me to florida (if i'm going there).

nothing is right

2004-09-05T02:52:22Z

crappy day. stef came over and helped clean out the garage. then we got into this argument because she didn't think i was romantic enough for her, then i almost threw out a letter she gave me, because it was stacked with some folders and i didn't see it.after that she insisted that we talk bout how she doesn't think i'm romantic because i don't act the way the guys in the movies do. then we ate at her house and was planning to go to the beach to watch the waves. the thing is i have to wake up 6 30 every morning, and last night i didn't come home till 2 30. tonight i figuered i def didn't need to stay up till midnight because i need those hours i'm always missing. then she gets really pissed, goes on saying i'm an asshole and i promised (which i didn't at all i told her i wasn't even sure if i wanted to) and kicked me out the car without a kiss or goodnight. i think this is prolly the first time i put myself in top priority instead of her and she blows up on me. am i just a bad bf?

well actually i just talked with her and we made up and i'm not sad and shes not sad and were ok. i love you so much baby i'm sorry if i dissapointed you and i'm sorry if i was being a prick on a stick.

gilvsworld @ 2004-08-28T20:25:00

2004-08-29T00:57:35Z

[x] Wallet?: the one stefygave me

[x] Hairbrush?: nope

[x] Toothbrush?: pink

[x] Jewelry worn daily?: neck relic

[x] Pillow cover?: dunno, i got a coupld

[x] Blanket?: leapord skin

[x] Sunglasses?: nope

[x] Underwear?: calvin klein

[x] Favorite shirt?: can't say that i like one more than the others

[x] Cologne/Perfume?: old spice deodarant spray

[x] MP3's playing?: don't listen to mp3's, don't need to

[x] Piercings?: ear

[x] What you are wearing now?: jeans, tbs shirt, calvin klein tighty wighties, socks, stud

[x] In my mouth?: bad aftertaste of whipped cream

[x] In my head?: brain?

[x] Wishing?: that i knew how the fuck to answer that last question without being a smart ass....still wishing

[x] After this?: without a paddle (second time) with stef and my cousin

[x] Person you wish you could see right now?: stef, corey, and simon

[x] Is next to you?: dunno several things

[x] Some of your favorite movies?: my answer alsways changes

[x] Something you're looking forward to in the upcoming month?: flogging molly

[x] The last thing you ate?: whipped cream

[x] Something that you are deathly afraid of?: private

[x] Do you like candles?: there all right

[x] Do you like incense?: yes

[x] Do you like the taste of blood?: well when the time comes, i won't have a choice

[x] Do you believe in love?: absolutely

[x] Do you believe in soul mates? nah

[x] Do you believe in love at first sight?: nah

[x] Do you believe in Heaven? someplace like it

[x] Do you believe in God?: someone like it

[x] What do you want done with your body when you die?: smoked into jerkey so people from all around the world will come visit "the human jerkey!!!"

[x] Who is your worst enemy?: none

[x] If you could have any animal for a pet, what would it be?: lion.....look, i know, ok?!

[x] What is the latest you've ever stayed up?: till the next night

[x] Can you eat with chopsticks?: i love eating with chopsticks

[x] What are some of your favorite candies?: taffy, chocolate

[x] What's something that you wish people would understand?: a lot of things

[x] What's something you wish you could understand better?: a lot of things

[x] Who is someone that you really wish was still around?: alexis

AND WHAT ABOUT YOUR FRIENDS?:

[x]Last person you talked to online?: stef

[x]Who do you talk to most online?: stef,simon

[x]Who are you on the phone with most?: stef

[x]Who do you trust most?: myself

[x]Who listens to your problems?: i don't talk about them much

[x]Who do you fight most with?: no one

[x]Who's the nicest?: everyone

[x]Who's the most outgoing?: dunno

[x]Who's the best singer?: stef

[x]Who's on your shit-list?: hmmm...

[x]Have you ever thought of having sex with a friend? no

[x]Who's your second family?: stef, corey

[x]Do you always feel understood?: rarely, but who does?

[x]Who's the loudest friend?: corey

[x]Do you trust others easily?: unfortunately

[x]Who's house were you last at?: mine

[x]Do your friends know you?: most part

[x]Friend that lives farthest away?: simon

LOVE AND ALL THAT:

[x]Do you consider love a mistake?: nah

[x]What do you find romantic?: lots of little things

[x]If someone you had no interest in had interest in dating you how would you feel?: sorry i guess

[x]Do you prefer knowing someone before dating them or going out?: happens both ways

[x]Have you ever wished it was more socially acceptable for a girl to ask a guy out?: no

[x]Have you ever been romantically attracted to someone physically unattractive?: unattractive is as unattractive does
[x]Do you think the opposite sex finds you good looking?: not really only stef

[x]What is the worst thing about the opposite sex?: they all hate each other untill they talk about how much they hate us

[x]What's the last present someone gave you?: stef

WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON:

[x]That haunted you?: n/a

[x]You wanted to kill?: n/a

[x]That you laughed at?: stef

[x]That laughed at you?: stef

[x]You went shopping with?: stef

[x]That broke your heart?: dog

[x]To disappoint you?: dog

[x]To ask you out?: stef?

[x]To brighten up your day?: stef

[x]That you thought about?: stef

[x]You saw a movie with?: stef

[x]You talked to on the phone?: stef

[x]You talked to through IM?: stef

[x]You saw?: stef

[x]You lost?: my cousin

RIGHT AT THIS MOMENT:

[x]Are you going out?: well like in 15 min

[x]Body part you're touching right now?: ::touches something in order to answer ?:: ......belly button

[x]What are you worried about right now?: breaking a promise, whatever it might be

[x]What book are you reading?: trainstopping

[x]Use 5 words to describe how you're feeling right now?: calm, chill, horny, excited, concentrated
[x]Are you bored?: kinda

[x]Are you tired?: not really

[x]Are you talking to anyone online?: no

[x]Are you talking to anyone on the phone?: no

[x]Are you lonely or content?: content

[x]Are you listening to music?: naturally

gilvsworld @ 2004-08-23T06:05:00

2004-08-23T13:08:47Z

painting over my house. it looks pretty much the same, cept gayer. yeah so went to the city with stef, saw tsunami bomb and audio karate. there was this other band i heard for the first time that was pretty good. reminded me of a.f.i a lot. i also got a harry potter game (((SCORE))). it's not htat great, prolly prisoner of azkaban will be better.

I love you smellybutton

gilvsworld @ 2004-08-13T16:31:00

2004-08-13T20:31:45Z

*The \\*
Last Cigarette:	long time ago
Last Alcoholic Drink:	wednesday night - wedding, what can you expect?
Last Car Ride:	2 min ago
Last Kiss:	stef
Last Good Cry:	i don't really physically cry anymore
Last Library Book:	no fuckin idea
Last book bought:	"perks of being a wallflower" and "nickel and dimes"
Last Book Read:	don't remember, whcih order it was but it was one of the two
Last Movie Seen in Theatres:	Napolean Dynamite (FUNNIEST MOVIE OF ALL TIME....NO EXAGGERATION)
Last Movie Rented:	along came polly
Last Cuss Word Uttered:	not sure
Last Beverage Drank:	water
Last Food Consumed:	cereal
Last Crush:	stef
Last Phone Call:	mom i think
Last TV Show Watched:	rugrats
Last Time Showered:	last night
Last Shoes Worn:	i hope you mean last shoes EATEN!!!
Last CD Played:	where you want to be - tbs
Last Item Bought:	mini weini condoms
Last Download:	fcukin like a thousand years ago, idk
Last Annoyance:	my big toenail
Last Disappointment:	my big toenail
Last Soda Drank:	coke
Last Thing Written:	coke
Last Key Used:	house keys
Last Words Spoken:	"whatever you want"
Last Sleep:	last night
Last Ice Cream Eaten:	dunno like a week ago i think
Last Chair Sat In:	the one right here
Last Webpage Visited:	live journal
CREATE YOUR OWN! - or - GET PAID TO TAKE SURVEYS!

tour warped

2004-08-08T03:41:59Z

warped tour was great. i thought i was gonna miss like everything based on the schedule online, but it turns out that schedule was bullshit and i saw everyone i wanted to. tbs was byfar the best though. It was the craziest crowd ... ( :-) ). i lost my shoe, but of course kept self in the pit, which meant putting my toes into danger. it wasn't that bad, cept half my big toenail ripped off. i only got seriously punched like 10 times, the worst coming from stef. yup she's the only one that took blood. everyone else were just aiming for the torso, but that's bullshit cause i'm well padded (ohhh yeah, man muscle!). yeah i also got my face imprinted by this guys foot like 2wice. honestly sometimes people can be reeeel assholes ... :).
yeah the only bad thing was being broke, which means surviving on slim jims and winterfresh gum. yeah it was much better than last year. last year we (that is stef and I) went to asbury park, and the crowd SUCKED. no action cept for all american rejects, but they aren't that great so it didn't count. it was also a much smaller venue so there was no room to walk at all. plus the traffic was wayyyy too much, so it took 6 hours to get to newjersey, which meant missing most of the bands we went to see.

two fingers, but one ring

2004-08-06T03:21:16Z

been to two diff camps since my last entry. the last camp i've been to was really like a music college kinda thing. i took like 3 classes a day, it was all excellent. all except for the metalheads...damn metalheads. yeah so summer is boringly hot. looking for a job. i got a job for nov and dec for the nut and candy co., but fuckin my dad says i can only work on weekends, which is bullshit cuase i can't make any money that way. w/e i'll work it out. i'm hoping to land a spot in starbucks, cause it seems that would be the most convenients and would pay the best. that and the middle neck pharmacy. and i have a contact there - deppeekas aunt or sumtin. warped tour is coming up, i can't wait. both of my cousins from florida are coming over to ny, and it's sad to think that even in summer im prolly not gonna have too much time to hang out with them..well maybe a lil, but i have so many plans it's crazy.

well w/e i'm out

lifes a shithole now

2004-07-02T03:48:34Z

ok here goes

1. i get up at 8...every day...don't know why
2. stay home and do NOTHING but work so that AFTER summer i can have cash
3. i get back to bed

summer so far sucks.
i saw stef twice which is good.

ahhhh!!!
so
fucking
bored

work sucks
computer sucks
strings broken on my acoustic and i don't have the "privelage" of going to buy some new ones.
life
sucks.

out

gilvsworld @ 2004-04-26T07:35:00

2004-04-26T11:42:48Z

What comes to mind when you hear..
..snow?: is white
..rain?: me and stef dancing in the rain
..tornado?: fuckin hicks
..summer love?: stefipoo
..John?: is fuckin annoying
..Mike?: is a pothead
..Shea?: stadium?
..banana?: tastes good
..dizzy?: on fizzy
..Laura?: dsl like a mofo
..Juan?: rum... mmm mmm bitch!
..car?: pimp my ride
..white?: i am ashamed
..peppermint?: ew
..New Found Glory?: worst band ever
..placebo?: effect?
..orange juice?: i'm fuckin addicted. 3 cartons a day, thank you.
..candid camera?: hello
..sister?: maya
..brother?: not maya
..hate?: you
..school?: ::tries to force smile BUT FAILS::
..President?: cocain
..football?: men in tights
..rap?: funny vocabulary
..pop?: ::sigh::
..rock?: on
..punk?: haha
..sex?: awesome when stef is involved
..death?: awwww
..babies?: are fuckin awesome!!!
..duuude?: dude
..the end?: jim morrison

great fuckin show

2004-03-29T21:42:33Z

i want to make it plain and simple: EARLY NOVEMBER IS AMAZING. god i was singing along every fuckin song and moshing and ahhhh ::falls to knees::. if i could be gay with any guy it'd def be ace. wow great show. park is fuckin amazing. the progress was also really good. linebeck or limebeck or w/e sucked (in my opinion) but thier last song they played really well. socratic was ok, their last song sounded a lot like what tbs would play. early november and park were the bands i liked the most though. ever so sweet was a realy special song that night, cause it's me n stefs song (i love you baby).

I'll miss you so good...

gilvsworld @ 2004-03-20T14:29:00

2004-03-20T19:31:10Z

i think my main mistake was actually signing up. i should've known i ALWAYS get rejected. i shouldn't have been so stupid as to hope i'd get in.

SICK LIKE A DOG

2004-03-13T16:11:57Z

i can barely speak i'm so fucked up. maybe i have mono from that threesome i had with my dog and the two mongolians...
either way i feel like SHIT if i'm lucky i'll be able to go to my sis's show tonight. i wrote a really nice song, but without words (cause my vocal chords are kind of on fire at the moment). i miss my stefanie so much. and the band. god i feel like such a prick. why'd i have to get sick after already missing fuckin 4-5 practices already. ::sips tea::

well i'm out

gilvsworld @ 2004-03-12T20:34:00

2004-03-13T01:37:39Z

i was really sick today, so i stayed home. i wish i could've went to levels to see the show and stef (but nope you lose). yeah so now i'm at my aunts house for dinner and i'm reading harry potter...ok, ok, i know, how can i get any more pathetic, but it's something to do.

I LOVE YOU STEFANIE EPIFAN

year anniversery

2004-03-10T21:34:36Z

i had an AMAZING time yesturday. me n stef went to copacabana in peir 17 and ate and danced (well i did hahahaha) and then we walked in the cold and went to starbucks and walked in the cold again. and we made like 5 videos of each other if not more. yeah. i wanted it to be better though. i was planning on it being sunny and me getting her flowers and wearing a tuxedo or sumtin. yeah but she made it the best :). some people were smoking rolling tobacco during lunch. IT SMELLS LIKE HORSE. not like horse shit, but like horse. rolling tobacco is the worst smelling thing possible. god knows how bad it tastes. yeah so now i'm doing homework and listening to music. radiohead is like my new fav band. i mean the who is still my favorite band, but radiohead definetely come in second.

::farts::

2004-03-09T00:00:55Z

yeah so sucky weekend. tomorrow, however, will be me n stefs year anniversery ::smiles extremely widely::. my english sub, mr. espy, is hilarious. he's just like mr. cohen haha. they are both so fucking stupid. i can get away with anything in their classes.

poopey

2004-03-07T22:29:15Z

marco polo died. don't know who he is but people respected him so: rip marco. my parentals suck. they change everysingle plan they make with me, so in the end i suffer. and you know what's worse? people around me also get affected. like yesturday. i could've been wiith stef. but nooo. and today i was reallly pissed off. i was suppoose to go to band, but my parents fucked that up too. and the band is blaming stef on it. aahhh all htis because my parents don't seem to think my plans matter at all. i'm like in fucking jail. i wish i didn't have to rely on my parents.

things i want

2004-03-06T04:43:03Z

1. everyone to be happy
2. stef to be happy
3. stef to eat and drink
4. stef to be healthy
5. stef to feel good

i want her to be happy sooo much, but nothing i do works. i love you baby.